Here’s a thing. Whenever you see news about something weird or dumb or even legitimately bad happening in Eau Claire, there’s always a few (or 50) people rushing into the comments section to announce, “Only in Eau Claire.”

And yet, weird, dumb, and bad things happen everywhere.

You also see people confidently claim to understand Eau Claire’s collective psyche. They say, “Eau Claire thinks it’s classy” and “Eau Claire thinks it’s cool” and “Eau Claire thinks it’s a big city.”

No. It doesn’t. This is a fiction existing in the minds of people who think they’re smart enough to assess the wants, needs, and dreams of 70,000 people living together in Wisconsin.

Does this sound like you? Well, I’m not smart enough to do that, and I doubt you are, either.

Every time some rando tries to open a business that doesn’t fit your internal concept of the city, you are not witnessing “Peak Eau Claire.” Because – I say again – people do dumb things everywhere. Even in The Big City. Statistically, I assume The Big City has even more dumb ideas. And it has even more people like you rolling their eyes, muttering, “Only in New York City” from their comfy armchairs.

Do you really think your friends and neighbors of the Chippewa Valley hold a monopoly on misguided business decisions? The fact that bad business plans often fail is proof that Eau Claire isn’t whatever you’re trying to criticize. Let me paint a word picture.

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You also see people confidently claim to understand Eau Claire’s collective psyche. They say, “Eau Claire thinks it’s classy” and “Eau Claire thinks it’s cool” and “Eau Claire thinks it’s a big city.”

MIKE PAULUS

Today from your local news outlet/your Facebook feed/your friend’s big mouth, you learn about a new business set to open in a dingy, 30-year-old strip mall on the edge of town. This business plans to sell high class, high dollar clothing to high class people who can easily drop  $1,700 on a pair of shoes. The boutique is called “Sebastian Allan Custom” or “Serpentine” or, I don’t know, “The Grain Elevator.” It’s painfully obvious the people behind this fancy-pants new shop somehow don’t realize the majority of the Chippewa Valley’s Really Rich are old retired dudes who wear cargo shorts and Skechers Memory Foam Walking Shoes to their lakeside supper club and pickle ball court of choice. That’s why they live here. They don’t need a swank clothier. At least, they don’t need one often enough to keep the lights on at “Truffle & Tractor” for more than a few weeks. Before long, this business pivots to pre-owned designer handbags or something. Then it closes.

This isn’t a case of “Eau Claire thinking, yet again, that it’s classier than it is.” This is one clueless individual thinking we’re classier than we are, while the vast majority of Eau Claire, yet again, just ignores it. Eau Claire’s identity isn’t tied to random, off-kilter business attempts. It’s tied to our support (or non-support) for them.

Yes, these weird, long-shot storefronts grab all the news headlines, but why is that a surprise? It just means that, here in Eau Claire, we’ve got a lot less noise through which to cut. And personally, I like less noise. I’m fine with just one Truffle & Tractor trying to open as opposed to 27.

Here’s the thing. We – like MANY small, Midwestern cities and towns – are largely self-deprecating. For better or for worse, it’s one of our core values. It’s why one of the most popular performers hosted by our beautiful, riverside performance center is Charlie Berens, with his fake Midwestern accent and his “modern yokel” schtick.

And you know what else? What I’m just now realizing? The same people eager to blast Eau Claire for being too big for its britches are the same lads and lasses eager to blast Eau Claire for thinking Charlie Berens is some kind of comedic genius. Which is it, my snarky Facebook comment junkies? Are we too low brow to be high brow, or are we too high brow to be low brow?

Cripes, you know who doesn’t give two craps either way? Kathy over in accounting sipping Diet Coke from her Manitowoc Minute coffee mug.

Hey, I love complaining about stuff. I am, in fact, presently complaining about a thing. But I know there are much better things about which to complain. Health care is too expensive. Our unhoused population is growing. We’ve got just as much covert racism as the next town.

So maybe lighten up on how clueless you think our community is and remember that we’re all livin’ clueless from time to time, even you.

I mean, you live here. You are one of us. You’re not dishing out snappy commentary from a privileged, high ground. Even if you’ve spent some stretch of time living in a “real” city, you’re not immune to misunderstanding your own perspective.

We don’t need your idea of a hard truth. We need you to take part-ownership of your community and try to make it better. And that doesn’t start with mindless complaints. It starts with respect and understanding.